Veritas
by Alice84
Summary: And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
1. Chapter 1

I left school and England right after I graduated in Hogwarts, moving to Canada to study Transfiguration, so I was not there when Harry Potter arrived, the very next year, and I was not part f that story everybody knows. The war, Dark Lord, everything. I wanted to go back to England and help, the things I heard were too horrible, but I had my studies and my job, and my protective parents who had moved after me to Canada just didn't let me go. I only managed to go back in the final year – final and worst – taking a very long vacation and sneaking out of my parent's sight.

When I arrived in my home country, it was a complete disaster. The Order of the Phoenix was nearly completely broken, Hogwarts had been taken, and the Dark Lord was powerful. It was scary. I did the only thing I had the possibility of doing: headed back to my family's property close to Duddon Channel and help people who were on the run. The house was big enough to hide them properly; I transfigured the basement into a decent living area. In the beginning people were afraid of turning to me, because I am a pureblood, and the prejudice ran both ways, but with time they believed and the house was full. The news spread and more and more people went looking for me.

It was dangerous. If the "_ministry_" – and I quote it because the government those days were a joke – found out what I was doing, it would have been my death. But I had means – and I am quite proud of that – to know if people were truthful. Only once a man showed up just trying to know if the rumors were real, probably to take me to the Snatchers or Death Eaters of Ministry or what the hell ever, and I caught him before I had to say a word. He left my house thinking he had found only ruins and didn't even remember what he was doing there.

Well, ok, I'll explain. Ever since I was born there if this burden I carry. I am the result of a careless use of the Veritasserum potion. Its use if highly _not_ recommended to pregnant woman and my mother happens to have taken it when she was carrying me. See, my father had just returned from a long business trip when she got pregnant, and he was a jealous man. A good man, but so in love with his wife, we got a little crazy sometimes. So, he gave her the potion and asked her if she had been with another man. She hadn't and I was really my father's daughter, so it was moot. It was only good to make my father calm down, to make my mother very angry with him, and to give me horrible side effects.

It is known in the potions literature that when a pregnant woman takes the Veritasserum, the baby is born with traces of it in their blood, but it slowly fades away and by the time the child starts to speak, it is already off. But destiny does love me, doesn't it? In me, it just didn't wear off. My parents got me studied, seriously. You see, I can't lie. It's physically impossible, when someone asks me something, the truth flies out of my mouth before I can think of holding it, and when I try to give an opinion, you can be sure it is completely sincere, since I can't even flourish the things I say to sound nice. Oh, how many times people thought I was being rude!

Can you imagine how many problems this damn potion has brought me during my whole life? Imagine yourself as a little girl in school, when a teacher asks why you didn't deliver your homework. You can't say your dog ate it, so what you say is loud and clear that you were lazy and didn't want to do it. And when you get a little older, your school colleagues ask who do you like and you just say aloud the boy's name for everyone to hear, including the boy himself. And then in your teens your mother asks if you have been drinking and you not only confirm it, but you also say there were cigarettes too. And so on! I have been through horrible situations because of that. It might sound funny to some people, but try to imagine how it feels to never have a single secret in your life.

That's why I chose to stay at my family's manor, far away from the war and just hiding people who needed help: I didn't have to talk to anyone.

And, see another point: when I had to, I knew before hand if the person was telling a lie or not. A good point in my little problem. People could never understand how the potion worked on my system, but it did, and it was very useful thought my life. I knew my parents were lying when they first told me a bunny brought the Easter Eggs and that Santa brought Christmas presents. When teachers at school told me my drawings were pretty I knew they were not. When a boy that liked me said I was ugly, I knew he thought me pretty. I learned how to make it very useful and it did help a lot through the war and to hide only people who really needed help.

I used my own money and got completely bankrupted when the war was over, but it was worth it. My parents had arrived in the final months to help me and they said they were proud of me, and it made me very happy. I saw people leaving the manor to go back to their own houses and families; or what was left of it; and they were grateful and said they would never forget me. That was enough to pay all the months of suffering. Riddle was dead now, Potter was a hero, Hogwarts was reclaimed by McGonagall, Snape was dead, and I didn't say a word. I knew that I was not the only one who did everything they could to help, there were lots of anonymous heroes all over the country, but all the glory went to the main ones, to the ones who fought the final battle, to the ones who wondered the nation hunting pieces of Riddle's soul, to the one who died trying to protect the Chosen One and the key to end the war. It was ok. Really, you know I cannot lie.

So, when peace finally lay over Britain again, I moved. My parents decided to stay in the Manor and retire, and after a small vacation there with them, I decided that London would be a good place to start over. By that point I had already lost my job in Toronto anyway. My parents helped me renting a small house in Victoria Park Road and I looked for a job in the magical community. I couldn't find a thing, the community was shattered, in financial post-war crisis, and nobody seemed to need a non-graduated Transfigurations assistant. That was a surprise to me, seeing how much physical damage Diagon Alley and other magical places still had, but that was it. Deciding not to depend on my parent's money for that long, I started looking for something in the muggle city. I already lived there anyway! I found something incredibly quickly, it was simple but I could manage myself.

It didn't last. Telling women buying new clothes that yes, that shirt did make her look fat and that no, that dress did not look good on her at all and she looked like a gas canister did not do me any good. As a receptionist in an office building was no good as well, I couldn't tell the person in front of me that the one they were looking for was not there when they had just told me to lie about that.

I finally settled when I got a job in a book store. I could tell people my opinion about books when asked and give people indications about better titles without insulting anyone.

And it was there, in the coffee house inside the book store, when I was in a break, that I was surprised and scared to death when my former-teacher-ex-Death-Eater-war-hero-who-was-supposed-to-be-dead showed up in front of me. It was Severus Snape, I was sure, and he recognized me too. Incredible really, seeing that I hadn't been his student for almost a decade now and he had probably taught hundreds of people. But he did know who I was in the moment he met my eyes.

And that meant trouble.

"What the fuck?", I managed to whisper. See, there is one more thing you should know about my little problem. People think about bad words to describe feelings all the time, I know you do too, but they don't often say it because other people wouldn't appreciate it. _I_ had no filters.

"Always the lady, Miss Laurie".

Oh well, no doubt now. That was undoubtedly Severus Snape's voice. The surprise that had been in his face for a short moment was gone and he now had his eyebrow raised and a scowl in his face, looking down at me. That was so the Potions Master I remember from my adolescence!

"Professor!", I finally said like a human.

"Hardly", he said and looked around, probably trying to find a route out of the coffee house.

"How come? Everybody thinks you're dead! Are you really…?" and saying that I reached out to him to see if I was not just hallucinating. Maybe the Veritasserum was finally going to kill me or something and I was going insane before that. And I did touch him for a brief second before he jerked away, raising his hand to keep me away.

"Yes, Miss Laurie, no need to grab".

"Merlin, am I not crazy?"

"No, now stop that", he said and rolled his eyes. "Is that possible that the first one I meet had to be the parrot?"

"Ouch, professor, _'parrot_'? I can't get past one conversation without being called that!"

"That is hardly a problem, Miss Laurie, as I will obviously obliviate you in a few moments, keeping in mind never to come back here again".

"Why? If you don't want people to know you're alive you shouldn't be in London".

"I'm in Muggle London, Miss Laurie. What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"Working! I sell books here".

"Not in the store!", he said with his known impatience.

"Oh, Muggle London! Couldn't get a job in the… _Our community_, there's a financial crisis, no employment after the war. Until the Ministry fixes up things it's gonna be a mess and I can't wait, I needed to work, can't keep depending on my parents but this is not about me, you're the one who rose from the dead. Does anybody know you're alive?"

"No, and I intend to keep things like that".

"I won't let you obliviate me", I said a little more controlled now. "Will you raise your wand to me here in the middle of the shop?"

He narrowed his eyes obviously hating me at the moment. So I was the only one who knew the famous and at the same time infamous tragic war hero was actually alive and wandering among the Muggles? Interesting.

"Come now, professor, if you don't want people to know, I won't tell anyone. Seriously", I pause and smiled up at him. "You know I can't lie!"

He did know that, having been my teacher for seven years. It was hell, really. School time was hell.

"Still suffering from this malady, are you?", he said surprisingly changing the subject

"Still. Forever, actually, no cure was ever found. It's hellish, but I'm used to it now".

He stood there looking down at me and said no more. I stared back, trying to foresee what he was going to do, actually afraid he would take out his wand and hex me right there

"Why don't we have a coffee and talk?", he said, finally, very gently, and I immediately frowned

"Why don't we? Because you've just lied to me. You don't want to have a coffee and talk. What do you want?"

He smiled. Yes, he actually smiled. He didn't show teeth nor chuckled or anything, but his lips did curl upwards, and that was more that I had ever seen in all those years.

"Good, that's want I wanted to know. Come on, I'm going to ask you some questions".

And then he turned his back to me and walked deeper into the coffee shop. I had to stare, obviously. He was in black, of course, as always, but very different now. His trousers were jeans; he wore shoes instead of the heavy books he used at school, and a black buttoned shirt; his hair was still long but not as much as it was before, and it was combed back. His face was showing, and I thought that very weird for someone who was trying to hide. But then again, showing his face openly like that was actually very different from what he had been his entire life, hiding behind the curtain of hair.

As I was staring and thinking, he stopped walking and looked back at me, opening slightly his arms as if asking '_well_?". Without really thinking why, I obeyed and followed him. He stood at the counter and ordered an espresso, and as I stood by his side, he asked me what I wanted. The girl behind the counter knew me, but didn't like me. I had told her once that her artificial blonde hair made her look like a prostitute. But I was on my lunch time, so she couldn't question why I was there. I also ordered an espresso and he paid for both. With the cups we moved to the last table in the place, a more private area, and I sat. He looked around once more and sat across the table.

"I think I should be the one asking questions, shouldn't I?", I asked him.

"Perhaps, but that's not how this is going to go", he said and he meant it. I knew my old Potions Master; there was no arguing with him. "Now, Miss Laurie, who is the new Minister?".

"Kingsley Shacklebolt".

"Shacklebolt?", he asked thoughtfully. "I could have guessed that".

"People wanted either him or Arthur Weasley or Professor McGonagall, but she decided to stay and rebuild Hogwarts and Mr. Weasley didn't even want to run for it, so Mr. Shacklebolt won".

"So Minerva is the Headmistress".

"Logically", I answered. "She was professor Dumbledore`s deputy. Hey, who was your deputy when you were headmaster?"

A little startled at my sudden question, he answered quickly. "There was none. How is the situation in Hogwarts now?"

"How could I know? I haven't been there. Why would I? I haven't been to Hogwarts for eight years now, since my graduation. Surely you remember that".

"Your speech was memorable, Miss Laurie, I could not forget if I wanted to".

I laughed a little. It had been one of the most awkward situations I have caused my whole life, when some mischievous colleagues of mine insisted that I stood in front of the crowd and opened my big mouth. Somehow I managed to restrain myself from speaking individually about the teachers; that would have been terrible, but I did speak about my colleagues and educational system and how house elves deserved a prize. I spoke for almost an hour.

"I am certainly allowed to laugh at that now, but I was very embarrassed then. But then again, if I get embarrassed for everything I say, my color shade would be constantly pink. I think I learned how to get over it". I paused. "How come you're not dead?".

"Are you not going to stop asking me that?"

"No!"

"This is none of your business, Miss Laurie".

"Nor anybody else's, I know you're going to say that. But you're wrong, Professor. You ran into me and asked questions and you have a lot more questions that I will answer, and you obviously know you'll have the truth, so yes, this is _some_ of my business".

I had seen that face before; that was _irritated Professor Snape_. I had provoked that expression many times in the past.

"You know I'm right, Professor", I said controlling the small hint of fear I felt under that look. "Let's talk, it's okay, but if I'm helping you I want to know some stuff too. And I already told you I won't tell people if you don't want me to", I paused, feeling uncomfortable with a weird feeling that just appeared inside my chest. "I don't even have any contact with anyone in the magical community".

"You don't?", he asked with an affirmative tone. "And why is that?"

"People don't like me. The only ones who cope with me are my parents, and I don't see the regularly".

He didn't say anything now and we both sipped our coffees. He seemed to be thinking, studying me on top of his cup, and I decided to shut my mouth and let him do it. It was obviously not a simple situation, and my loose tongue could screw it up even more.

"This is not a good place for that", he said after a minute or so. "It would be better if we met somewhere else to have this conversation".

He meant it and I agreed. "Any suggestions? I leave work at five".

"I'll be outside", he said and stood up suddenly, startling me.

"Oh, ok", I said standing up too. "I'll see you then, Professor".

"Stop calling me _Professor_".

"You keep calling me _Miss Laurie_, I'm actually imitating you from the old times".

"I am not a professor anymore".

"And being called Miss makes me feel like the awkward twelve-years-old again. Call me Anna".

He stared with the eyebrow up again and said after a moment "Severus".

I smiled and he left without another word. I stared at his back until he disappeared and dropped again in the chair, finally letting the surprise take over me. I had just seen the dead war hero everybody talked about as much as they had talked about Harry Potter, right there, in my working place, and he wanted to talk. It was obvious that what he wanted was to _use_ my condition in order to have the information he needed for some reason, and I decided I was ok with that, as I also wanted to know some stuff about him.

I had lunch there and got back to work, trying not to think too much about meeting him again after my shift and praying to any God that would hear me that he didn't bring up a specific subject from the past; but knowing myself, it was probable that I would bring it up myself.

At five o'clock I went to the toilet to change out of my uniform as quickly as I could and ran outside at five ten. He was on the other side of the street, scowling, arms crossed, and looked directly to me while I crossed the street to stand in front of him.

"Severus", I said.

"You're late", he barked

"I stopped working at five as I told you. Where are we going?"

"Where do you live?"

_No, Anna, don't say it, don't!_ "Didn't you say you would not be alone with ever again?". _Darn._

He studied me for a moment. "That was nine years ago, Miss Laurie—"

"—Anna".

"Anna", he repeated and oh Jesus Lord, my name in that voice sounded amazing. "Nine years is long enough, or is it not?"

"Well, I'm not really sure, but I think so. Just be warned".

"As I said before, this is not a good place to have a conversation. Will you answer my question?"

"Next to Victoria Park. I'll take you there".

I walked towards a small alley used only to dump trashcans and he walked after me until its end. Saying nothing, I offered him my hand and he took it. I looked around one more time to be sure and disaparated.

I had set wards around my house and left a small spot on my little backyard where one could aparate, and that's where I arrived, Severus holding firmly my hand. He kept holding it for one more moment when he settled himself – side-along aparating is really uncomfortable – and then he let go.

"Ok there?", I asked

"Yes. Your kitchen garden?", he asked. "You should know it is not safe to leave your house unwarded—"

"—It's just this single spot, and chill out, we're not in war times anymore. Come on".

I walked the single four steps that it took to go from the end of the yard to the kitchen door with Severus right after me, and I stopped before touching the door. He was right, I thought then. It was not really safe, was it? I knew a secret he didn't wish anybody to know, and his name was clean now, but he had been a Death Eater after all. I didn't really know what he intended to do. So I stopped and turned to face him. He gave me a wary look but waited for me to say something.

"Are you going to do me any harm?", I babbled

He did it again, that little smile he had given me in the coffee shop. He was satisfied to see I was actually being careful, though a little later then I should have been.

"Shouldn't you have asked me that before aparating with me to your property?"

"Yes, I should, but I'm asking now".

With amused eyes, he answered clearly. "No, Anna, I do not intend to do harm to you".

"Obliviate me?"

"No".

"Use that Legilim-thing on me?"

"No, you are transparent enough".

He was not lying and it was good enough for me. "Ok", I said and turned to the door. Touching the knob, it grew warm under my hand and the door opened with a click. I entered first, knowing my wards would not enjoy the visit on an unknown person. I took him to the living room and told him to sit while I prepared tea, disappearing again into the kitchen. I put the kettle on the muggle stove to gain some time and think. Not that thinking things through would make me know better what to say, but I needed it nonetheless.

So Severus Snape was in my house now. The teenager in me was screaming and I knew how damned I was, and there was no way I was going to be able to make her shut the fuck up. I hadn't thought about professor Snape for a long time when I was in Canada, but then I returned to UK and found out he was Headmaster, Death Eater and, worst, Dumbledore's murderer. What a shock. When I left he was just a Potions Master. A complex, withdrawn, crusty, sexy, charming Potions Master, with intense stare and delicious voice.

Oh, but he couldn't lie to me. I never knew the truth, but I knew the lies. There were deep secrets there and that his manners were calculated, were all previously thought, and had a real reason behind them. When he insulted someone from other houses other than his _Slytherin_, and when he praised his own students, I knew there was something to it. He didn't mean whatever bitter words he said to them most of the time. When I started in Hogwarts I was just twelve years old, but my flair to lies was as accurate as ever. In my first class – _Ravenclaw_, my house, and _Hufflepuff_ – he gave that beautiful speech about the art of brewing potions and I could see he really meant it, that man really knew what he was talking about, and I was almost ensnared into working with Potions forever. I didn't, though, because professor McGonagall won me with her Transfiguration classes. I know I could have been good in Potions, I was never a bad student with Snape and he had trouble finding flaws in my work as the years went by.

The kettle whistled and woke me up from my daydreaming. No more delaying now, with the tea bags in the mugs and a kettle of boiling water I moved to the living room. Professor Snape – I still could not call him Severus in my mind – had his back to me, observing my book shelf.

"Most of my titles are still back at Duddon Manor", I said and he looked at me. "I only brought with me the ones I hadn't read yet. I don't have that much room here for all of them", I said resting the try in the coffee table. "Tea?".

"Plain, please".

I served us both and we sat down with the table between us. I sipped and waited, but he seemed to be too thoughtful to speak now and patience was not my main quality.

"Are you not gonna return to the wizarding world?", I asked and he looked up

"Why should I? To be judged and imprisoned? I have no intentions of doing it to myself".

"Why— Oh… Oh. You really have no idea of what has been happening since the final battle, do you?"

"I obviously don't, and that's why I am here".

There was a little tiny trace of lie in that sentence, but so small I couldn't really catch what it was. I decided to get past that and just tell him. Boy, that was gonna take a while.

"Prof-Severus, it is very unlike that anything you suspect would happen if you go back would actually come true".

"How can you be sure?"

"You are not considered a murdered Death Eater dangerous lunatic". I said and he stared at me. "You're not. Everybody knows the truth about you. I knew it first, but now everybody does".

"You knew it first?"

"Sure. I read the Daily Prophet and saw your pictures trying to look threatening and evil, and I knew there was something to it. Apparently my amazing talents work through pictures as well".

"Please stick to the point Miss Laurie".

"Anna, damnit", I babbled again and smiled. "Oh, don't give that look, you can't take house points off me now, can you?"

He closed his eyes and breathed hard, pinching the bridge of his nose to try to summon some patience. "Anna", he said.

"Ok. When you were thought to be dead, the Final Battle went on – see, I only know those things 'm gonna tell you though reports and newspapers, because I was not there. So they tell that Potter got some memories from you and when he saw it he knew what he had to do in order to end that stupid war and he did what he needed to. He faced death and Riddle himself killed the Horcrux that was on him, and then he woke up again, alive once again for after a killing curse, and got back to fight. Then Longbotton killed the snake and Potter killed Riddle, but not without telling him and everybody who was listening that he now knew the truth about you and that you had always been Dumbledore's man. Nobody understood it, and after the battle when things started to settle down, he explained it to Wizengamot. He figured out a lot of things that were not really in the memory you gave, and it took a while but your name was cleaned. You were posthumously declared a free man, absolved from the crimes you were made to commit. Potter fought for that. Your name is written in the Memorial they made in Hogsmeade. It's like that: Harry Potter, under it Severus Snape, and then Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley side by side, and under it, Albus Dumbledore. And they all got Orders of Merlin, including you, a posthumous medal".

He was silent and staring expressionless at me now. I knew I did summarize everything in a few lines and it was a lot to take in. All of that had taken months to happen, and during that time the castle had to have lots of parts rebuilt, lots of people trialed, lots of dead honored, lots of victims treated, anyway, too many things. I was silent too, letting him think about it.

"To honor a dead man is one thing. Is poetic, it's benevolent. A war criminal who is alive and hiding would be seen with completely different eyes, much less charitable".

I thought about that for a moment. "True. But this man cal also be received with the same honors the other living war heroes deserve. There's no way of predicting it, really, it could go either way".

"Taking this chance could grant me life in Azkaban. It's not a risk to be easily taken".

"But you want to go back".

"No".

"Liar".

He gave me that angry look again, "You annoying parrot".

"You think I don't know that?", it was a rhetorical question. "You want to go back, I know it. If you didn't you would not be asking me those things, you wouldn't even be interested. You could choose anywhere in the world to move to and start a new life among the Muggles. You are a free man now, nobody is looking for you. They won't start now, because I'm not telling anyone you're alive. But you're here instead".

He went silent for a few moments. I served us more tea.

"Order of Merlin, uh?", he asked after a while

"First class. The pretentious Ministry thinks they are apt to give away prizes to war heroes when they tried to stop all of them of doing anything in the first place".

"Interesting thought".

"Don't you agree? For years they tried to deny Riddle was alive and they tried to stop everybody else from doing anything about it and manipulating news on the Daily Prophet. And then, one beautiful day, they decide that they are responsible for awarding and recognizing those who fought. But then again, they have always been presumptuous, that wouldn't change with the end of the war".

"How do you judge the prizes give away, when the Minister was, and possibly still is, one of the most important member of the Order of the Phoenix?".

"The Orders of Merlin were given before he became minister. It was someone I can't remember the name who got the post temporarily, and perhaps he thought there was nothing more important in those times than to make a big party and give people medals. Only when Shacklebolt was nominated they started working for real. I think he would have given the awards anyway, but under him it would have made a lot more sense".

"I see your point", he said picking up his mug again and changed the subject. "What have you been doing all those years?"

"I moved to Canada after school, specialized in Transfigurations in Toronto".

"Transfiguration, uh? McGonagall would be proud."

"Oh, I very much doubt it. She doesn't like me since in my first week in Hogwarts I said her voice was too squeaky and was getting on my nerves".

He smiled again and I dare to say he was holding up not to laugh. "And you just came back to England, after the end of the war?"

"Not after the end", I said defensively. "I came back during the war. I knew what was happening and I decided to come back."

He stared at me for a moment before saying "Why would you do something that stupid?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're telling me that you knew there was a war going on and you willingly decided to come back to the country?"

"Yes! Why is that—"

"—Stupid? You know there is a war going on, people are dying and being hunted, and you just _want_ do the there?"

"I'm a pureblood; nothing was going to happen to me! I could not just stay on the other side of the ocean moving on with my life knowing that people I know, people I went to school with, people from the community I grew up in were in that miserable situation".

"And what was that good for? What did you do to help? I don't recall hearing of any Anna Laurie fighting in the war or receiving fuckin' medals for anything".

"Oh, ok, Mr. I'm-So-Important-I-Won-A-Fuckin'-Medal. Who cares for a medal? A minute ago you didn't even know you had one!"

"I don't care for the medal, but the bloody Ministry did give them away for everyone who did something for the end of the war. I am saying it was stupid of you to come back purposefully to a country in war if it was not to do something important".

"What do you know? You were locked up in Hogwarts doing what the hell ever was important for you to do, and you think the rest of the magic British population was crying under their beds? Are you really so presumptuous to think that other than you and the members of the Order of the Phoenix, nobody was brave or capable, or _stupid_ enough to do something?"

And then I noticed we were both now standing, voices raised, looming over each other, and I was so angry he though the medals were important. Never had he seemed to be a person who would care for that kind of thing, and really, I was surprise in a bad way. I hoped I was just misinterpreting it. In the next second I was storming out of the room and into the kitchen and he was after me. I took two pans out of a cabinet a knocked them onto the stove, turning on the fire with just my hand without thinking of it.

"What are you doing?", he asked, voice still raised

"Cooking! I'm hungry, damnit, I've worked all day".

"Will you just stop yelling and tell what did you do then?"

"I hid people. I gave food, shelter, medication, everything people who had nowhere to go needed. I rescued the ones who would be killed just for being who they were", I said and took a deep breath, trying to control myself, filling both pans with water from my wand, and moved on. "I Transfigurated my basement into something like a hotel-hospital-home, and had about sixty people at once there", I paused again. "A few of them died there".

He was silently standing on the doorway and I had my back to him. I leaned over the stove to reach my pack of cigarettes from the window frame and lit one in the lit fire of the stove. After a moment I turned to look at him.

"I can't believe you really think the awards are that important".

He tried again to summon some patience, his voice lower now. "Anna, just get back in our conversation for a moment and tell me when I said I think the award is important", he said and I opened my mouth to answer, but he moved on. "All I said was the Ministry gave them to people who did important things, and that was all".

I stared at him for a moment dragging on the cigarette. There was no lie there. "Ok. Now I see it. I'm sorry for reacting like that".

He groaned and left the doorway, approaching me and reaching for my cigarette. He took it from my hand and dragged it. "Did you want to have received the medal?", he asked way too close to me for my comfort.

"No. But it would have been nice to be acknowledged. Can't complain, though, the only people who know I did it were the ones I helped. I didn't tell around about it, even when I came back to London to try to find a job". I paused. "Mind to share my cigarette with me?"

He gave it back to me but didn't move away. He went silent now, looking down at me. The last time he had been that close to me…

"All those years", he started, "did you still think of me?"

I was surprised he would ask something so directly, especially _that_ question. I dragged on the cigarette and puffed out before answering, memories from nine years before returning with impressive clarity to my mind.

"_Professor? Can I talk to you?"_

_He looked up from his desk and rolled his eyes when he saw it was me standing on the half-opened door. Oh, if he knew how much it hurt me to see he roll his eyes like that…_

_"__If you find necessary, you must schedule a meeting with me, Miss Laurie. I am busy right now"._

_"__Tomorrow is my last day in school, Professor. There won't be time to schedule a meeting. I don't think it will take much of your time"._

_He sighed and rose from his chair. Rounding it, he said. "Come in then, and make it quick"._

_He leaned against the front of his desk and crossed his arms. Taking a deep, calming breath, I entered and closed the heavy wooden door. I turned slowly, rethinking all the words I have rehearsed in my mind, knowing it would hardly help. When I was in front of him, I made myself look into his eyes._

_"__Well, Professor… Yesterday we had our last class, and tomorrow term ends. I'm leaving Hogwarts, and I'm probably not going to see you again for a while, so… There's something I need to tell now, or I won't have a chance again", and as he remained silent, looking with an expression half bored, half attentive, I moved on. Taking a slow step toward him, standing closer now, I said quietly, "I am in love with you, Professor"._

_His eyebrows rose for a moment, before coming down in a deep frown. "Are you out of your mind, Miss Laurie?"_

_"__My brain faculties are in perfect state, Professor, I assure you", I moved closer. "For nearly two years now, I've been in love with you. Don't ask me how I managed not to say something before, I don't know how"._

_"__Miss Laurie, kindly take a step back now", he said lowering his arms_

_"__It's not just a crush, Professor", I ignored it. "I know I have real feeling for you–"_

_"–__It is just a crush!", he said harshly. "You are not the first one to have one of those. This is a completely inappropriate student-professor fantasy that will go away the minute you step out of this castle"._

_"__It's not!", I said, now very close to him. "You know I don't lie, Professor. You also know I can tell when people are lying. I see much more of you than the other ones do, and I'm telling you, I am in love with you"._

_Before he could deny it again, I rose on my toes and pressed my lips against his. His arms were stiff on his sides and I reached up to hold on his shoulders. He didn't move, and for everything I knew about that man, it had to be good for me. I let one hand reach his face and cupped his cheek, kissing him a little harder now, but still very softly. I couldn't scare him._

_That's when I felt his fist movement. His lips moved against mine, just an inch, and something burs inside my chest. He was responding! My arms slid around his neck and I took another chance. I slightly opened my lips against his, trying to make him open his. He did, very slowly, very tentatively, as if not sure about it, and then I felt… Oh, Gods, I felt the tip of his tongue, just the very tip, touch my lower lip. I felt like I was going to burst, but I just waited. I had dreamed about kissing him for so long now, and I didn't need to hurry or risk driving him away._

_But right after that… I felt his hands hold my upper arms and push me away suddenly._

_"__Get away from my class now!", he groaned_

_"__Why? What is so wrong about—"_

_"—__About this?", he asked gesturing towards me. "It's absurdly inappropriate and you should know that. This is not going to happen, so just leave now"._

_"__You were kissing me back!"_

_"__I am only human, Miss Laurie. Take this stupid idea out of your mind for good"._

_"__Severus—"_

_"__I am Professor Snape for you. Enough, I don't want to be alone with you ever again. Get. Out!"_

"Come back to the present, Anna", he said and I looked up at him again. "Why don't you answer to my question?"

"Not before I came back", I said. "In Canada I moved on with my life. Met someone. did as you told me: tried to forget about you".

"Tried, but did you?"

"I didn't lose my memory, Severus. Of course I didn't forget, but I did move on. When I came back and you were on the news as the Headmaster… And I heard everything you had done…", I lowered my head. It was painful to remember how those news had hurt me and everything had come back rushing to my heart.

"But you knew the truth".

"I didn't know the truth. I knew it was all a lie, but I didn't know what the truth was. I just heard it when everybody else did. Then you died".

I felt it again, the emotion and the pain inside my chest that I had felt when I heard he died in the Final Battle. I remember hiding during the celebration people made in the Manor when the news spread. I locked myself in a closet and cried his loss. Since I had come back to UK I relived everything I had felt for him in my school years and realized those feeling had never left me. They were just dormant.

I saw Severus move. He took a slow step towards me and reached for my hand, taking the cigarette. Instead of dragging it, he threw it on the sink. I looked up at him, and he was so close now…

"And you?", I asked quietly. "Did you think of me?"

With a smile, he said "No".

He was lying and I smiled too. "All right then".

His lips still slightly curved upwards, he reached out and I felt his fingertips on my face, his eyes deep into mine. I completely lost words – and talking about _me_, that's quite something. His face was just so different than the mental picture I had carried with me all this time… His wrinkles were a little deeper than I remembered; nine years had passed after all, and he had been through so much pain, it showed. But there was something more and I took a moment to realize what it was, and when I did it surprise the thoughts and the words out of me.

Severus was open. He was looking at me with some kind of emotion, with warmth, without restrains. There was no frowning, no mask, and right then, for the first time, I really saw Severus Snape.

And I loved it.

I didn't see him take another step, but just then he was so close to me that his chest was touching mine softly and his fingers were still roaming on my cheek. His eyes left mine and wondered around my face, and I saw him look at my lips. I took a sharp breath in, trying to control myself. His eyes glued to mine again when he saw me almost lose it; his other hand gently but firmly held my waist. His hand was warm and I could feel it through the fabric of my clothes. I was still unmoving, frozen in place, although I didn't feel cold at all.

He closed his eyes an instant before dipping his head and touching his lips to mine. My eyes also fell closed and I just felt it. Just as soft and I remembered his lips being, he pressed just slightly, his hand on my face slowly sliding to the back of my neck. I shivered.

He moved his lips against mine, and it was more like a brush than a kiss, I could feel his stubble and his slow, calm breath on my skin. I might have purred. Just then I felt it; just the tip of his tongue touching my lower lip and then slowly – and torturing – sliding over it. Just like he had done nine years ago in his dungeon classroom. It had been right then that he regained his sensed and stopped it.

And he stopped it again now, but differently, he stood there, his tongue still on my lip. He had gone just as far as before and now was waiting. My heart stared to pound so much harder now as I understood it. He wanted me to continue what I had started.

This knowledge unfroze me. I reached up and circled my arms around his shoulders as I parted my lips and met his tongue with mine. He moved again immediately, but still gave me control over the kiss. I pressed a hand in the back of his head, his silky hair caressing my palm, and brought him deeper. He opened up for me and I took him, his mouth, his tongue, all I had desired so many times. He responded by holding me tighter by my neck and waist and pressing harder against my chest, trapping me on the kitchen counter. He tasted like herbal tea, and like _Severus_. I took mine, tasted him and slowly bit into his lower lip, using this slow moment to breathe in.

He groaned lowly when he felt my teeth and his passivity came to an end. He took control, kissing me deeper, thoroughly, but still slowly. It felt like he wanted to know and memorize every inch of my mouth, and I was only happy to let him. I can't remember what I thought, or if I was thinking at all at the time. All that existed was Severus, his hands holding me tightly to his chest, his breath in my cheeks, his lips and his tongue caressing me, his chest pressing against mine and – oh, was that..? Yes, it was his hardness pressing against me. I felt a delicious, electrical shock down my spine.

Severus bent his knees a little, his body sliding down mine; and then up again. This time I know that I purred. I felt him rubbing against me and I throbbed. I was breathless but I didn't want him to stop kissing me… Ever. It was too good, Gods, it was the most delicious kiss I had ever had, and by the low groans he made and by his erection pressing against me, I knew he was enjoying it just as much.

Slowly he finished the kiss, taking my lower lip between his teeth. I missed the touch of his mouth immediately. Breathing hard, I reluctantly opened my eyes. There were those black eyes, now burning, so alive and full of emotion, and showing me such a raw desire… And it was for me. The girl who was in love with him so long ago, and who now knew… This love was never gone.

Gods, I loved that man. Thankfully I was so breathless and so awed, and my heart was pounding so fast, that I wasn't able to say anything. I know he saw in my eyes what he was feeling. Emotion, desire. I was entirely there.

"I've wanted to finish this kiss for all those years", he whispered, his face so close to mine it felt like he was whispering into my mind.

"I went there to do more than kiss you", I confessed. "I wanted it all".

His eyes, that were half closed, opened to stare into mine. "All?"

"Yes, all. I was a virgin, but I wanted to give it to you… And I wanted you to take it right there, in the classroom".

He moaned lowly and I saw his eyes roll a little before he dropped his head to my neck. He hugged me tight and smelled me, my neck and hair, and still there he said "You have no idea how hard it was to make you leave".

"I think it was harder to be told to leave", I said, my eyes closed again as I felt him kiss my neck

"I had to. For so many reasons… But I never thought about you again as I did before. I kept thinking about you telling me those things… And your hands in my chest… Your lips in mine…"

"Did you want me?", I said and pushed him slightly, just to make him lift his head and look at me again. "Tell me, Severus, did you want me?"

"Yes", he purred. "I wanted you. Anna… If I hadn't controlled myself, I'd have taken what you wanted to give me", he pressed his body onto mine again, and he felt even harder now. "I'd have taken you there, on top of my desk".

"Then do it now", I said and there was a silent, intense pause. Everything felt silent and still for a moment until I said "Take me".


	2. Chapter 2

He kissed me immediately. Deep as before, but the slowness and tentativeness were gone. Now he was hungry, controlling. I moaned as he pressed me even more to the counter, the hand on my neck holding me tighter. His other hand, on my waist, slid down, reaching my jeans from behind and grasping my bottom. I have no idea where my hands were now, I was just travelling around, trying to feel everything I could feel at once. His hand came up again and held me by my back underneath my blouse, his warm hand giving me the chills.

I was so lost in that kiss – Merlin, and what a great kiss it was – that when he stopped and withdrew from me I took a moment to understand. I saw him curving to my right side and doing something to the stove – later I understood he was turning the fire off, the water was meaningless boiling there – and then he held my hands and pulled me with him. We walked to the living room. The light there was off; it had gotten darker since we arrived. Severus took his wand from his sleeve and motioned it to the fireplace. Now the orange, warm glow, and his presence and his warm hands on mine made the room feel more comfortable, and just more _right_ than ever before.

He motioned me to sit on the couch, but instead of sitting by my side, he knelt in front of me, between my knees. With his both hands, he cupped my cheeks and studied me for a moment. He looked at me as no one had ever looked, as if to memorize me. He slid his hands to my hair and kissed me again. I held him by his back like a lifeline, I'm sure if I let him go I'd just melt down. Never stopping kissing me, he moved his hands on me, I felt him touch my face, my neck, tangle his fingers in my hair, slide down my back, always slowly and firmly. I was hypnotized, amazed.

He held the end of my blouse and moved up. I lifted my arms for him to take it off me and reached back to unclasp my bra. He slid it down my arms slowly, looking at the part of me that was being revealed. I leaned back on the couch, giving him full view, trying to calm down and let it happen as slowly as he seemed to want it. He looked at me up and down and his eyes showed his desire and it was for me. _For me_. After a moment when he seemed mesmerized – well, sorry, I do have beautiful breasts! – he snapped out of it and took them in his hands. I moaned at the warmth and the perfect pressure he used to hold them, and I'm not sure what kind of sound came from my lips when he came down and took one in his mouth. Everything became a blur after that, where he kissed and nibbled and bit my breasts and I fumbled trying to take his shirt off. When I finally slid the shirt out of his shoulders, he trailed his kissed back up and took my neck. I held him and felt his back, his warm skin, and came down to his bottom. I clasped him and he pressed his erection on my open legs. Damn… He groaned at the feeling and rubbed once again. We look at each other and I was breathless, lips swollen, I just wanted him to take me.

"You're amazing", he whispered and kissed me again and I rolled my hips again. He pushed me with his kisses until I laid my back on the couch and straightened again, looking down at me. He watched as I rubbed yet again on him and he held my hips, pulling me harder. I still moved when he opened the button and zipped down my jeans, taking then off urgently in a second. His hands immediately flew to my underwear and took them off too.

I lost it completely when his mouth came down on me. He licked me from the bottom up in one slow, long motion and I felt like I was going to die. Crying out now, I felt his mouth moving on me, his tongue tasting and teasing. He entered me with his fingers and I felt almost dizzy. He found the perfect spot inside and suckled on me at the same time, and he did it for long minutes until I thought I was going to die. I saw stars in front of my eyes and screamed his name when I came, digging my nails on the couch above my head. I felt the vibrations of his groaning into me, licking and sucking me through my orgasm. It was long, felt like it was never going to end. My hips still jerked up in the after pleasure when his lips left me. There was so much desire in those eyes! He cleaned his lips with his fingertips and liked them. Gods… I got up and reached for his pants immediately, at the same time attacking his mouth. My taste in his lips was delicious, and all I wanted now was to feel him just like he had felt me. His trousers fell to the floor where he was kneeling and I reached down for him with no more delay. Under his underwear he was rock hard, hot and throbbing. He hissed, breathing in through his teeth when he held my hand go under the fabric and hold him.

"Sit here", I told him and slid to the floor from where he was already rising. I slid his underwear down and threw it away. Now I knelt in front of him and he looked at me expectantly. I couldn't wait to have him in my mouth, and I didn't. I heard him crying out, moaning and groaning, and he said some words, but I was so concentrated, and feasting on him, feeling his taste, his manhood, I couldn't hear them. I had always liked to give head, but this was just phenomenal. He responded so deliciously, his hips jerking up, his thick cock doing deep on my mouth.

"Fuck!", was the word I understood. "Anna, you have to stop", he said cupping my cheeks and getting out of my mouth. "Unless you want me to come now".

"No", I smiled. "I want you to fuck me a lot before you come".

He groaned, "As you wish".

With that the took his wand that was sitting forgotten on the couch and motioned it towards the floor. Before I could think, he was pushing me to lie on my back on the cushioned floor. He lay on top of me and kissed me, our tongues and tastes mingling, but I wanted it all. I needed to feel him inside me or I was just going to burst.

"Severus… Please…", I whispered into his mouth

"What? Say it".

"Inside, please… I need you inside me".

And then he entered me. Thick as he was, I felt myself stretching to accommodate him and I heard him moan like a boy in pleasure, saying how tight I was. I was about to say that it was because of_him_ being so thick, but at this moment he left me and entered again in one motion, and I completely lost my mind. My nails digging into his back, I make all kinds of sounds I could as I felt him inside, heard his voice, felt his hot body against mine, and looked up to see him watching my face as he pounded into me.

That was it. It was done. He had taken me, he was making me his. That was all I wanted. It felt perfect as he rubbed over and over against the most perfect spots and that perfect voice told me the most perfectly dirty things. I came for the second time I could feel his stare on me. When I opened my eyes, still on that bliss, he had a delicious, dirty smile on his face; I shivered and came a little more.

When I came back down, he came out of me and lay by my side, pulling me with him. I held his cock on my hand to position on top of him and slid slowly down, happy to feel him inside again.

"You fell so fucking good", he said and a leaned down to him, and he took my breasts and his hands and mouth. "Ride me, witch"

It felt amazing to be in control, on top of such a straight, unyielding man, who was now letting me do him anyway I wanted. I felt his magic rising with his pleasure and my skin broke in goose pumps.

"Oh, God", I said feeling it mixed with the physical pleasure of going up and down on him

"Do you feel it?", he asked

"Yes!"

My pace quickened on its on. Before I could know how I had gotten to that, I was slamming down on him, our skin making delicious slapping noises. He sucked on nipple after the other, and when he bit a little into it cried out, feeling another orgasm approach.

"You're gonna kill me, witch!", he screamed and grabbed my hips motioning even stronger now. "Fuck, I'm coming!"

He held me in place and pounded up on me. I came again, feeling a hot gush wetting us both. He felt it too and it triggered his release. He pounded one more time and groaned, his body trembling, his mouth open in an awed expression. I fell on top of him trying to breathe. He was still gripping my hips hard, shuddering and groaning, and started to relax after a few seconds. I kissed his neck and his face, and he pulled me to kiss my lips. He gave me that deep, slow kiss again, his hands holding me tight to him. When we moved, minutes later, he didn't let me lie by his side; he just kept me in his chest, my legs entwined with his, our fluids oozing from our bodies.

I sighed, my breathing normal again, as he stroked my hair.

"I'd never imagine", I started murmuring, as always unable to remain quiet for a long time, "this morning, when I woke up to go to work… That I'd find you, rising from the dead, and that I'd have sex with you in the same day".

He chuckled, his low, deep voice vibrating in his chest under my ear. "I can say the same… I'd never imagine this would happen".

"Was it really a coincidence?", I asked and his hand stopped on my hair. I looked at him, resting my chin on his chest. "You, showing up in the bookstore where I work… Was it a coincidence?"

Severus was silent for a moment and I waited. He looked up at the ceiling, quite still. He just moved his hand, resuming his caresses to my hair.

"It was not", he finally said, softly. "I knew you worked there".

"So you had seen me there before?"

"Yes. For a few days I wondered around Charing Cross, the Leaky Cauldron. I never entered, obviously, but I needed to know how things were, I needed to see someone who could let me know if things were in order. I worked for that for years of my life… And one day, I saw you".

"When?"

"About two weeks ago… You were entering the bookstore. I came back the next day, disillusioned, and entered the store to see if it was really you".

With a chuckle, I lay down again on his chest and said "Stalker".

"I didn't see anybody else, only you. From the moment I saw you, until today, I kept thinking about talking to you, but I knew it was a risk… You could tell people, not because you wanted to, but if anybody asked…", he explained and I just nodded. "But you were right when you said maybe I wanted people to find out I am alive".

"And that's why you decided to approach me", I said and looked up at him again. "So I'd tell you what was going on and maybe I'd tell the community that you are alive".

"Only partly, but yes", he said and we both sat up, looking at each other. "But if that was all that I wanted, I could just have walked into the Leaky Cauldron. I'd see how things were and people would see me. But I decided to go to you".

"Why then?"

"Because it was you!", he said and cupped my face, pulling me a little closer. "Anna… You…", he fumbled with words

"Never thought I'd see you, so eloquent, in a loss of words", I smiled

He groaned and dropped again to the cushioned floor, hands in his head. I still sat, looking down at him.

"So much has changed since the end of the war", he started again. "Since I died and came back, since I became a free man, even if no one knew. I changed. I suddenly saw myself questioning why I had despised my self my entire life".

"You despised yourself?"

"Yes, very much. For all the lies, and the things Riddle ordered me to do, and Dumbledore ordered me to obey. For what I did in the past that caused deaths… Yes, I despised myself".

"Then I'm glad it changed. You have to reason to despise yourself".

"Well, I did do some horrible things…"

"What was Dumbledore's choice of words? The Greater Good?"

"I hated those words, but in the end… He was right. It was all for the greater good, and it worked out in the end. Riddle is dead, the war is over… People were lost, but now it won't happen anymore. And I realized I was changed when I thought _I helped. Without my actions, it might never have ended_".

"You're right. Without you, Potter would have no chances. You sacrificed your life and your reputation for that".

"Yes. I'm still trying to get used to thinking like that. It's not really easy".

"I guess…", I said as a lay with him again. He pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead. "But what does it have to do—"

"—You want to know why I came to you and now we're _here_, don't you?", he asked, squeezing me a little to emphasize the word _here_.

"Of course", I said. "I have just had sex in the first day with a man that was my professor. I want to understand it".

He was silent for a moment and I waited, letting him organize his thoughts. I understood it was not easy for him to open up like he was doing so far, and as he was about to do even more.

"I started working with Dumbledore right before the end of the first war. I went looking for help, and in exchange I offered my loyalty. Harry Potter's parents were killed because of a mistake I made when I told the Dark Lord about the prophecy. Have you heard about..?"

"Yes, the full story was published. But they didn't tell this part, where you told".

"Good to know", he paused before continuing. "I had been in love with Lily since my childhood. We didn't speak anymore when it happened, but she was still… I never forgot. When I caused her death, it destroyed me, and my only goal in life now was to honor my loyalty to Dumbledore, protect her son, and bring down Riddle, who had killed her. Those things made me carry on, but at the same time didn't let me live. It was all I could think about and dedicate myself to, even in the years between wars. I despised myself; it would never cross my mind doing something to make myself happy, because I didn't deserve happiness. I only existed to fulfill my promises, after that I could just disappear".

"Oh, Severus…", I whispered, holding tighter to his chest

"It's just the truth. When you showed up… I had known you for the seven school years already, and I knew you were… Peculiar", he said and I chuckled. "You were obviously different from everybody else I knew, and what made you to special was something so foreign, so unknown to me: _truth_. You irritated me with no end, I think you know that. And then you came to me that day and confessed your feelings for me, and you kissed me… There was a part of me, that I had thought dead for a long time, that wanted to hold on to that, to take you in my arms and not let go… This part screamed at me '_someone wants you! Just be happy! Don't let her go, you fool!'_. That's why I almost gave in, I started kissing you back but the other part of me, the stronger, bitterer darker one reminded me of my life, my acts, my role as spy, my promises… I had always known that one day the Dark Lord would return and a second war would happen, and that I'd probably die before the end of it. So I pushed you away. It was just safer for you, and even for me. I didn't think I deserved your feelings, or the feelings of any one, and I knew I'd destroy your life if I let it happen", he sighed hard, "I was not myself. I didn't live for myself. I didn't care about my happiness. I lived to fulfill my duties. At that time, I would not be able to make you happy and give back to you what you offered me. Not then, and not for a long time after you left. The next year everything started falling apart when Harry potter got to Hogwarts, and Gods, so much happened… I didn't dare thinking of you, or any good things. All I thought was Lilly, and Potter, and Riddle, and Dumbledore…"

"It must have been hell", I murmured

"It was. It was hell, but it was what I had brought to my life, it was what I deserved".

"You didn't deserve to suffer!", I said looking up at him

"But I believed I did!", he said sitting up a little and sliding back to lean on the couch. "This understanding that I don't deserve it is something new. Is what changed on me. And just then, Anna, when_this_ changed, is that I allowed myself to think about you again. The girl who said she loved me nine years ago and could only tell the truth. Maybe you'd have fought and died in the war… Maybe you'd be married to someone and have children… Maybe you'd be nowhere to be found in England… Or maybe, just maybe, you'd be here, around, and single; and maybe you'd give me… Another chance". He went silent and we just stared at each other. My heart was pounding again. "Do you understand what it means, Anna? What it means to me that I was asking myself those questions? I never had hope before, and now I caught myself imagining, hoping, and thinking of you, your peculiarities and that small kiss".

I felt like crying. My heart was pounding with pain for everything he had been through, with happiness that he was alive and learning how to live again, and that it was with me, it was about me he thought when he desired happiness and hope. My eyes were wet and I had no words.

"I lived through lies, deceits and scams since I was a child. I went and left school, I lived through a war, through peace years and through a second war and I died accompanied by those lies. I've had enough. Anna…", he reached out and pulled me to him, holding my face in his hands. "You mean truth. Your name means honesty. Having found you, of all people, in London, and being here with you now, means that I'm being given another chance, as the first one you gave me nine years ago".

I couldn't hold it anymore. With a sob, tears escaped my eyes and I threw myself at him, burrowing my face in his neck. He held me tight to him, and I felt his breath quicken. "I love you", I told him, and I am surprise I hadn't done that yet. "I thought I did, but I never stopped loving you".

"I know", he whispered. "I know, I can feel it. I'm not going to throw it away again", he lifted my head and kissed me through my tears. "I'll make it up to you. Nothing holds me back anymore, I'm sorry we had to wait for so long".

I had never felt that emotion before. It was similar when I tried to get him before, but now it was so strong, so good, so overwhelming. We kissed again and for a long time, naked on the floor of my living room, hearts open and truths wondering free.

"Are you happy?", I asked, my lips still on his

"Yes", he said without thinking. His eyes opened more in surprise and he sobbed – he actually sobbed, and tears fell down his face. He hugged me tight, almost painfully hard and I felt him cry. I cried with him, surprised to see him let his feelings show so clearly. "Thank you, Anna. Thank you… Thank you".

The Ministry hall was crowded, groups of people chatting animatedly, photographers and reporters walking around, their cameras flashing and smoking. Nobody saw me enter, I sneaked around the crowd, close to the walls, just observing. The biggest group of people was around the Golden Trio, who shyly talked to them or smiled to the cameras. Nobody knew who I was and I was glad nobody approached me to ask anything.

I was alone and in my best dress. Slowly, I walked towards the end of the hall, where chairs stood in front of a small stage. I chose one and sat down. My legs shook and I fought not to bite my nails.

Slowly people started to sit down and soon the chairs were full. The Golden Trio was in the first row, accompanied by their relative, and the fuss was still around them. Impatient, I looked around, trying to find a familiar face. I saw a few colleagues who had graduated with me, but not the only face I really wanted to see.

After what it seemed like hours, the crowd clapped hands when the Minister for Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt stood on the middle of the stage. He smiled and placed his wand in his throat before speaking.

"Thank you, thank you very much", he said and the crown went silent. "Our gathering here tonight has a stronger purpose than some might think. The Wizarding World has been through two wars, too many losses, too much pain, but we have fought through it until the end. Today we mourn our lost dear ones, but we know we never gave up. Our society stands as strong and as united as ever. We have made one injustice, though. During years there was one person, a crucial tool on our fight, without whom the outcome would have been different; a tragic one; who has been treated as an enemy. The Order of the Phoenix has counted with his efforts for years, many of us have know him as a colleague and as a professor, and it was only after his death, that we came to know the truth about his contradictory actions. The Ministry has posthumously awarded him with an Order of Merlin, first class, for his indispensable, vital part in the war".

The Minister went silent and looked at his notes in the parchment, cleared his throat, and looked again at the crowd. "As it has already leaked into the newspapers…", he started again in a low voice "He didn't die. This hero we all know and now understand and acclaim is alive. The deceit about his death was a way to be free from even more injustices towards him", he paused. "But the time for hate and injustice and fear is past. We have fought against those feelings and attitudes, and we will maintain this new era of understanding and hope alive", he breathed smiling. "Ladies and gentleman, witches and wizards, I give you… _Severus Snape_".

Everybody stood up as on, clapping their hands and cheering. It was going to be Severus' first public appearance since we decided he should tell the Ministry the truth. It took a while for this decision to be made.

First, he convinced me to quit my job so we could leave London for a few weeks. He said he wanted us to reacquaint and spend some time alone, and I was happy to do it. We went to a small city in Portugal, rented a small house by the coast and lived there for three weeks. It was great, but far from being easy. He took a while to get used to so many truths coming from me.

"Is this too much for you?", I once asked when he was all sulking for something I had said. "If you don't think you can handle it, Severus, please tell me now so I won't suffer even more in the future".

He continued silent for a few minutes and I couldn't take it anymore. I left the house and went to the beach where I cried my eyes out. I could believe I was about to lose yet another man, but this time it was hurting so much more than it ever had. I had liked other man in my live, I've had a relationship that I could call serious before, but I had never loved anyone else as much as I loved Severus. It was hurting bad that he, someone I thought different and stronger than anyone else, was not going to cope with me.

He sat silently by my side on the sand and I didn't dare to look at him. If I did I knew I looked at him I'd babble and beg him not to leave me. So I just kept crying, look at the sea.

"I'm sorry", he said, sadly. "I thought it was going to be easy".

"No, you didn't", I said still crying. That was a lie.

"Ok, I didn't think it was going to be easy. But I didn't imagine hearing so many truths would be hard, it will take time to get used to it. And not to tell any lie as well, as small as they are".

"People lie all the time, sometimes they don't even notice it. Maybe I should stop telling them I know they're lying".

"With me, you shouldn't. I want this, Anna. When I told you on our first day was completely honest. I'm done with lies in my life, but it will take time to really be used to that".

"Are you not giving up?", I asked looking at him

"No, I am not giving up on you".

And now, months later, after we talked a lot about if we wanted to still be part or our community or if we'd just leave and never tell anyone he was alive. My opinion was that he had lived almost his entire life for those people and that he deserved to be free and recognized. All he said was that if he did then so did I, before writing a letter to the Minister.

I didn't stand up with the crowd, I was shaking with what he was going to say; he hadn't told me. Severus stepped on the stage and shook hands with the Minister before standing in front of the crowd, silent and looking serious and irritated. Flashed of the cameras and cheers of people subsided slowly and everyone sat down. He hadn't said anything yet. When the place was silent, he looked at me and I nodded.

"I will not explain my survival further than this: I had antidotes, I took them, and when I felt better I apparated away. That's all", he started and the only other sound to be heard was the quills scratching parchments. "I am satisfied to know my part on the war was recognized, but I admit being given an award by the Minister is quite sanctimonious", I head gasps on the audience and yet another camera flash hit him. "Our society claims and deify Albus Dumbledore, but when it came to believe his words of trust about _me_, nobody was able to stand up. After my supposed death, when the truth came out, an Order of Merlin was awarded to me, posthumously. I accept the medal and I accept the money that comes with it. This money will be entirely donated to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to collaborate with its rebuilding. Otherwise, this money would not be of use to me".

He paused again, looking around. "Just as the money, the medal is not just mine. A limited number of people were awarded, but the amount of unknown war heroes is uncertain and their part and their sacrificed has been belittled. To represent these people's part on the war, I present to you one fine example. There was one person who was in safety, living far away from the UK, who decided to move back in the middle of the war to be here and help in whatever she could. She was safe for being a pureblood, but risked her own life. She opened her own house to fugitives, people who would be tortured and killed if caught, for reasons we all know. Her house was transformed into a secret centre of hope. Alone, she offered people shelter, food, medical treatment, and for the unfortunate ones who came to die, she gave them am honorable funeral. In about one year", he said and looked directly to me. I gulped. "Miss Anna Marie Laurie has saved more than one hundred people's lives".

People around started looking at me now, seeing he was staring at me, and I felt my face hot. I didn't take my eyes off him, though. "I am grateful to be back and accepted for what I've done in our society, and I share with Miss Laurie, future Mrs. Snape, and with other hundreds of anonymous my own Order of Merlin".

People went crazy. They had just seen the infamous hero return to life and had learned he was engaged to that chick some of them remembered from being the annoying one at Hogwarts who could not lie. Severus left the stage immediately, walked to me extending his hands and, as I took if, the pulled me with him and walked out of the hall with long steps. He held me to his chest when we entered a fireplace and we disappeared.


End file.
